For those who have been following me for some time, you probably know that I like to share little snippets of my life on the blog. Most of the time, I’m talking about feminism or my struggles with anxiety or just weird things that I come across, but lately, things have been unusually hard in my personal life concerning career goals, relationships, family, adulting, and the like. This is totally not new to any twenty-something that has ever lived. Honestly, it’s no secret that the twenties are an ever-evolving, revolutionary time period that everyone experiences. Like, shit, 80% of sitcoms on TV are dedicated to the portrayal of the twenty-somethings’ lives. For unknown reasons, people think we’re a fascinating species, but really I think it’s just that we’re relatable.
I have to admit that I have not been in my twenties for very long, so by no means am I an expert. However, I’ve always thought that your twenties start when you move out on your own (in my case 18) and pretty much last until you’re in your thirties (or when you get married/buy a house/have kids? I don’t really know). What I’m trying to say is that I have noticed the struggles of the twenties in my personal life starting at 18 and even in some of my older friends that are now in their thirties but are still experiencing the same stuff they were dealing with 8 years ago. This is a period of our lives where half the people we know have toddlers and engagement rings while the other half woke up half-naked on the front lawn of a frat house covered in profane Sharpie doodles. Which leads to my question: What is this? What are our twenties?! We watch our childhood friends graduate college, get careers, become someone’s wife, become someone’s dad. We struggle with our career choices, dating, an onset of health problems we thought we wouldn’t have for another 20 years (why do I always have heartburn?!), learning how to like green juice and drag our ass to the gym in the morning pre-coffee. The twenties are difficult, and I won’t believe otherwise, but I’ve also been told that it’s the best time of my life.
See, I have this issue where I’m currently in college, and everyone is telling me, “Make it last as long as you can. You’ll never get this time back. After college, it’s just work and paying bills. Yadayadayada”. However, I truly do not believe I am currently living the best part of my life. And for the love of God, if this is my peak, I’m just going to stop now. I can tell you for sure that, while I have truly enjoyed college and life during, I have also had some of my worst anxiety and sadness over the past few years. There are days where I want to stay in college forever and days where I can’t wait to be set in my career. It’s a battle, but I try to learn from the hard days and cherish the good ones. I want more than anything to have the best time of my life during the twenties, and I really do believe that it’s going to happen, but I guess I’m kind of just wondering when that will be? (Patience is not my forte, have you noticed?) I have to say, as of right now, I’m not super impressed with my twenties, but I also had set myself up to believe that everything was going to be perfect by this time in my life. Every time something good happens, I think “This is it!” until it isn’t. However, I’ve already learned so much from dealing with more difficult aspects of life, and I know that with persistence, I’ll find what I’m looking for (and if anyone is persistent, it’s me). I’m working on getting out of my head a bit, opening up, and not taking myself so seriously. This has been a problem in the past. While physically I’m in my twenties, my personality is far into her thirties. I must disclose this, because my opinions may not be completely accurate of a twenty-something, although obviously this varies person-to-person. While my thirty-something personality can sometimes be a drag on my younger self (when I feel like my life is not progressing fast enough, when I would rather stay home than go out, when I put insane amounts of pressure on myself at work or in school), it has also had a lot of benefits (I have formed adult relationships, I set goals, I know – basically – what I’m looking for in life).
I want to stress that I am not here to judge or psychoanalyze anyone like I’m some kind of expert on living-life-to-the-fullest or learning how to be your “best self”. I’m just here to share observations in my usual satirical way. The twenties are hard and confusing, and honestly, I don’t quite know what I’m doing with my life. I’m just looking to share some of my experiences while I navigate whatever it is that I’m looking for. I want this to be humorous at times and therapeutic in others. Hopefully, I’ll find some people who can relate, and we’ll swap war stories.
If you have any good advice or thoughts, please feel free to share. I’ll be here in my minuscule corner of the internet attempting to finish my degree, find love, and actually remember to put gas in my car before I’m running late to an important event.
Cheers to the twenties, ya’ll.
XO Sara Lynn
*Song of the Day: The Modern Age by The Strokes