The Twenties: I Can’t Even Commit to Getting a Damn Hedgehog

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I don’t have a hedgehog, but here’s a picture of my dog, Sophie.

Last night, I had a dream that I got a pet hedgehog that talked to me.  Honestly, I like to believe that in my dream, she was my sidekick, but I actually don’t really remember the dream that well except that at one point, my hedgehog got stuck in a PVC pipe in my kitchen and was yelling, “Sara, help me, I’m stuck!” and I had to squeeze her out of the pipe.  Also, why was there a big PVC pipe in my kitchen?

Actually, no, why was the hedgehog talking?

I digress.  There’s a backstory to this.

For the past few years, I have really been wanting to get a dog.  I looooove dogs, and my house has always felt lonely without one.  However, I have big dreams of traveling after college, and at this time in my life I’m not home consistently, so I decided a dog is not the best choice for me at the moment.  Then a few weeks ago, I saw a picture of a hedgehog on Instagram, and this is another part that I don’t actually remember, but I guess that I must have become obsessed with them in the meantime, because lately I just cannot stop thinking about hedgehogs.  They are the cutest little roly polies, and apparently (from my extensive amounts of research), they’re also quiet, and odorless, and they’re totally low maintenance.  The perfect animal for a busy student.

So why can’t I commit to actually getting one?!

Okay, for starters, they’re like expensive hamsters.  They require the same materials, but since they’re exotic, they’re a good $200 more than hamsters.  However, they’re much cuter and friendlier, so I think it would be worth it.  However, I really do not think it is the price that is stopping me from getting a hedgehog but more the fact that I can’t even keep a damn succulent alive.  With my last pokey plant, I over-watered the thing a.k.a. I loved it too much, and it died.  Moral of the story: If I can’t keep a pokey plant alive, how do I keep a pokey animal alive?  I’m sure a living, moving thing would remind me to feed it and clean out its cage, but what if I hug it too tight or something?  Plus, apparently hedgehogs have to be kept in a 60*-75* F temperature constantly, and how do you regulate these things?  These are real life, first-world, Millennial problems, people.

Lastly, I have been trying to think of a punny hedgehog name for the past couple of days, and I really cannot think of one.  I simply cannot get a hedgehog until I have a fantastic name.

Anyways, I’ll probably end up getting a hedgehog at some point, but only when I stop being so crazy about it.  (Please note: I am NOT an indecisive person ever, so I don’t know how to deal with my feelings when I have an indecisive moment.  But hedgehogs are living things, you know?)

Any hedgehog owners out there?  Advice?  Thoughts?  How do you keep your hedgie warm?

XO Sara Lynn

*Song of the Day: Wake Up by Arcade Fire

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